Milk Truck Working Mama - Guest Post

Guest Post by BabyGearMama's partner in crime & BFF- MilkTruckMama Erica

*Disclaimer: These are my reflections on breastfeeding and being a working mother. In no way am I trying to condemn anyone for making another decision, but in order to write this blog I need to be honest and tell you like it is from my perspective.***

I am sitting here at work just having finished one of many pumping sessions. They say breastfeeding is easy, well I am here to tell you that whomever said that was either crazy, or a liar! Ok, not really a liar, but let me tell you the rest of the story. The true story of a working, breastfeeding mother.

I worked very hard to establish my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter, as I had HELLP syndrome and my dear daughter was born 6 weeks early. That is a whole other story, but just to bring you up to speed, my daughter started off purely on formula and we transitioned through nursing and supplementing to just nursing. I am not one of those moms who condemns formula or formula-feeding mothers. Formula saved my little girl’s life as I was unable to feed her. I think each mom (or dad) should get to choose what is best for them, weighing all of the information. For me, it was really important to nurse. It was what I had planned on, what I had envisioned, and I can tell you that NOTHING else about my delivery was anything that I had planned for or expected, so I tried really hard.  I wanted to control something, so I did everything I could to breastfeed my baby. I met with the lactation consultant, read books and went to every breastfeeding support group I could. After about 2 months I had finally done it…I could say my daughter was exclusively breastfed.

I mean that. Breastfeeding is real work. In the beginning I was exhausted all of the time.  I literally got out of bed only to take my daughter out of her Pack n Play to change her, feed her, and then lay her back down. My mom brought me food in my bed. I rarely left my room. I can’t tell you whether that is because I was so ill and healing (I think that this was at least a contributing factor), or if it was just normal nursing exhaustion, or just normal mom exhaustion. I am positive those formula-feeding moms are exhausted in the beginning too!

Breastfeeding is easy? I’m not sure about that. Sure, when I’m home on the weekends it’s much more convenient. I don’t have to make or clean any bottles, I can feed baby whenever she is hungry, if she needs more to eat I can give her more, assuming that I’m drinking like a gallon of water a day and eating an extra 500 calories more than I normally should that is. As any new mom can attest to, remembering to eat can be excruciatingly difficult, not to mention I can promise you when I have to choose between eat and sleep, sleep almost always wins. Oh yeah, sleep. See if you don’t sleep (ha, ha, ha…what new mom sleeps?) then your body doesn’t make milk as efficiently and effectively as it should.

If I don’t do those things and she wants more, it is terribly difficult, as I switch her back and forth from one side to another waiting for the extra ounce to “let down” and feed her what she needs. Not to mention trying to figure out how to hold your little one so that he or she can latch in the beginning is all but intuitive. But even all the exhaustion and pain (sometimes literal when baby decides to tug and pull and even bite you with her vice grip-like jaws) has got nothing on pumping. But it is easy at times. When I take my daughter somewhere I rarely think about whether or not she needs to eat. I know if she gets hungry then I will just feed her. No worry of not having enough bottles packed, or heating up the bottle…in that way, breastfeeding is easier.  But sometimes, it is not easier.

After a rough start and a second surgery this summer I got a visit from someone. That’s right everyone’s favorite aunt came back to town after 4 months. I thought that was one of the benefits of breastfeeding, but for me, alas Aunt Flo came back and she stole my milk. I had worked so hard to wean my little girl off of formula and to get her to breastfeed exclusively and now hormones had dealt me a blow. Now when I was home in the summer it wasn’t much of an issue. I could make just enough milk to keep her satisfied. Once I went back to work, however, things changed. The pump is not nearly as effective as a baby, and I was starting to pump short every day and go through the stash I had worked so hard to create. So I had to call my doctor, begging, for the one thing I thought might help—Reglan. Yes, I have low prolactin levels so I have to take medicine in order to keep my supply up. It is not the breastfeeding that I envisioned, but it’s still breastfeeding.

See, I work. That’s right, I work outside the home. I know some of you right now are thinking if I really loved my daughter I would stay home, but unfortunately that’s not a reality for me right now, although I long for the day that I can stay at home. Because I choose to continue breastfeeding my daughter, while working, I get to experience the joys of pumping.

My pump and I have a love-hate relationship. I love my pump because it allows me to give my daughter a little something of me while I am away from her at work. I love that I can pass on my immunities so she doesn’t get sick when I come down with that nasty cold from the kid in my class. I love that she knows I’m there and caring for her when I am not physically present. *

What I don’t love is waking up 20 minutes early to make sure that I can pump an extra bottle since yesterday I didn’t make enough milk to cover for the day. What I don’t love is sitting at my desk, breasts pinched into small tubes, watching them move in and out, thinking about missing my daughter, yearning for just another ounce, another drop of milk to fill the bottle. I don’t love that instead of being able to do work during my planning periods, I am pinned to my desk trying to tell my body to make more milk by pumping yet again. Pumping moms also have this fear that they will run out of milk, so I try and try to build extra milk to “stash” in the freezer (in case the war pops off I guess?) I don’t know why, but it is a real fear. My least favorite part of the day…when traffic is horrible and they can’t hold my daughter off from eating that 4:30/5:00 feeding because then I have to go home, look at my daughter, and pump yet again to tell my body that it needs to make more milk. The more I think about it, the more I stress about it and the cycle continues.

Something else that isn’t the best…traveling without baby! Picture this, you’re in Las Vegas, baby is safe at home with daddy…relaxing, right? Wrong! You see I had to wake up at 1am every night for five days before I left to try to pump enough milk to keep baby fed for the days I was gone. I had already gone through my first stash when I had surgery, so I had to stock up, and fast! Try feeding a baby and trying to create a stash in less than a week…that my friends is stressful! Giving her formula wasn’t something I was necessarily strongly against; I just knew she wasn’t going to like it. She had become accustomed to mommy milk. Once I was in Vegas for the conference I had to continue to pump every 2-3 hours to keep my supply up so I could continue to feed her when I got home. See my milk was starting to decrease so I had to make sure I could maintain it for when I returned to my sweet little girl. Not to mention that the assholes at the Riviera Hotel wouldn’t let me pump anywhere but the bathroom lounge. That wasn’t at all disgusting and degrading! But I had to do it. The good news is, when I returned (through security) I had 90 ounces of breast milk with me, so I had re-established quite a stash for the freezer. This ended up being a good thing since my husband used every single bag of milk that was in the house while I was gone.

But I know that this is all just temporary. Soon she will wean and I will miss the nursing sessions when she wraps her little hand around my thumb while she’s eating. I will miss when she is scared and needs reassurance and all I have to do is nurse her to tell her that everything is going to be ok. I will miss the times, snuggled into our glider, listening to her sweet little suckling sounds. Soon it will all be over…so I keep pumping. Off to drink another 32 ounces (and take my Reglan)! Thanks for reading.

Life on the Other Side of the MommyFence

I like to talk. I've always liked to talk. Pretty much anyone can tell you that. But I don't talk as much as some people I have met. Especially in strange places..... like Target. I swear I am a magnet for people. It's probably because I make eye contact... or my kids are just too darn cute to ignore and people feel the need to tell me their life stories. I was in Target yesterday in of course the best place on earth to strike up a conversation; The Sippy Cup Aisle. I can't tell you how many trips I've spent staring at sippy cups. We have had HUNDREDS of cups over the years. Yesterday, I met a woman who had a little child... probably about 10 months old so of course they decided to go to Target to get a sippy cup. She was nicely dressed. I looked like a hobo - seriously, a real hobo. Hadn't showered, wearing some sort of workout pants. Thank goodness I was wearing a bra. My hair was a big mess. I had on sunglasses. And not the good kind. I could tell right off the bat, that she was one of "those moms". She worked. OUTSIDE THE HOME. Can you believe it??? The nerve of her to go outside her home and put her child in daycare. I'm kidding of course. I have the utmost respect for mothers who work outside of their home but that is for another paragraph.

This woman was carefully looking at all of the labels on the cups. Checking prices and looking at the back for hopefully some sort of magic button to say "buy me" or "this won't leak". Then it hit me... she's going to talk to me. My youngest bean was trying to crawl out of the cart and had of course her sippy cup with her... a boring Playtex normal bottle with the normal annoying plastic insert in it. This woman looks at me and says "Do you like those bottles?". I said "yep, we do. I've tried them all and we keep going back to these. They are insulated (if you really can have an actually insulated sippy cup) and they don't leak which I like. She has been using them for a while." And of course for those of you who are wondering, we do use those Playtex annoying cups with the insert. We replace them every once in a while or when I forget to take them out of the van and there is coagulated milk in there and starts to smell to high heaven... but yes, I like them. "We get the ones with the handles on them first... probably those would be better for your little one" I say to her.  She pauses and replies, "Oh... do you get to stay home with your kids???" My first thought was pinned on the word "GET" but I replied "yes, I do stay home with my three kids"... I do not have a job outside of running my own Fortune 500 company within the walls of my house....I could tell she was having a bad day. She was all dressed up, her kid looks like she was crying, she might have been crying. She said that she recently went back to work, but had to take the day off because her little one had an ear infection... her 3 year old was at day care. I felt kind of sad for her. Then she says "oh, I really wish I could stay home, it would be just so much easier and I would get much more stuff done. It would be great. All I want to do is stay home but I have to go back to work." Now don't get me wrong, I am very blessed to be able to have the option to stay home. Perhaps this woman does not have that luxury. I could tell in her eyes that for her, this is what she had to do. Now it was kinda awkward at this point. Luckily my littlest bean had to try and throw her body outside the cart because she dropped her cup and Power Bar (no judging please, she is my third) so I decided to move onto the next aisle after I said something nice to her and we parted ways. Then I started to think..........this lady thinks that staying home is easier. Wow, that's insane. And maybe in her situation, she is right. Maybe it was easier for her to stay home than to do what she does, which who knows what that is. Then I started to think about what my life would be like if I had kept that job as an insurance underwriter 7 years ago. Would I have as many kids? Would I be happy? I got home and put the bean to bed and looked at my kitchen. Wow, looks like a bomb went off. Wonder if that lady's kitchen looks like this. It probably doesn't. It's probably perfect.

I always knew I would stay home once I had kids. I told the company I worked for that I was coming back after my maternity leave, but I really knew that I wasn't (sorry guys if you are reading this - I lied - and I knew it). I made it less than 4 hours after the first day of day care and gave my notice.  I was done. I couldn't do it. My husband wanted me to make it a week but of course I didn't. I worked three weeks and it was the worst three weeks of my life. But sometimes, I think about how AWESOME it would be to be able to step outside my mommy-body and do the job that I used to love doing. I would actually get a MENTAL BREAK. I could use the brain that I was given for something other than cleaning up after my kids, making meals, figuring out how to fix the Rainbow Loom after its been dropped a few times, find that Go Go My Walking Pup that literally walked away (true story), or get a stain out of a shirt. I wouldn't feel like my four years of a very expensive college education went to waste. I would talk to people about something other than poop for a few hours. How great would that be??????? A day without poop. I would have to re-learn the word "bathroom" because I swear I now always refer to it as "potty". Even when I go out with my husband, I excuse myself to "go potty". Sounds like heaven right about now as my children are pulling on me and demanding things from me... ALL... DAY.... LONG... WITH...NO... END...IN...SIGHT..  oh I really wish I could have a job outside the home and talk to adults and do adult things and not sing My Little Pony songs all day long. If only that were true. A friend of mine just put her last kid in first grade and just took an unexpected job as a librarian at our elementary school. Wow how I envy her. She gets to think. And help kids learn about reading. And most of the kids are not her own. Score.

If I worked outside the home, this would be my life:

• my kitchen would be spotless because there are no children home to mess it up
• my laundry would be done because i would have a cleaning lady to clean my house so i would have time to do the laundry
• i would only say the word poop twice a day. Once before work and once after work.
• i would use the word "bathroom" instead of "potty"
• i would not feel like i want to jump off of a cliff sometimes when my children are acting up all day long and driving me insane
• i would have a better memory and not forget things all the time
• my husband and I would have a better relationship because we have things to talk about beside the children
• i would be more rested
• i would be less stressed
• i would not have sticky floor
• i would feel like i am not just a mom-machine. A uterus used for breeding. i would have a place in society and i would be giving back. i would be important to someone else beside this tiny little army that i have created. i would be needed
• i would be a better mom, wife and friend

The woman I met at Target would probably think that this would be her life: 

• my kitchen would be clean because i would have tons of time to stay home and clean it
• my laundry would be done because i would be able to do it at home when i wanted
• i would work out every day and have a rock hard body b/c i could work out
• my kids would eat a home cooked meal every day and we would be more healthy because i had the time and the energy to cook great meals that i read about online
• i would spend quality time with my children and be able to nurture them and watch them grow and we would love every minute we spend together and just play puzzles and do bubbles and watch Dora. it would be so much fun.
• i would be more rested
• i would be less stressed
• my husband would appreciate what i do
• i would get everything done on my list and be a more productive person
• i would not feel rushed to get things done
• i would not be so tired when i get home at the end of the day and could spend time with my husband and my children all day long
• i would be a better mom, wife and friend

I pretty much think both of those lists are full of crap. Neither of them is really true. As someone who stays "at home" full time, I rarely get my list done, I rarely work out EVERY day, I rarely get the laundry all done, food cooked, kitchen clean. We don't eat that much healthier because I don't have to go to another job. This is just not true. I go through the same thing in the morning that mothers who leave the house to go to another job do - they still have to get kids on the bus and take kids to daycare and make lunches, pack bags, get kids dressed, fight about brushing hair, brushing teeth etc, but then I don't actually have to show up to another job. I'm here. At home. Some days are better than others. Some days I actually can GET stuff done however lately, it does not happen because having an almost 2yo in the house makes life a little more difficult. My "free time" turns into hours on end driving around the streets of my town... picking people up, dropping people off, mailing things, paying bills, going to doctors appointments, going to the grocery store. Some people may think that I have tons of time to myself to get my lists done, however when you look at the bottom line, when you add up the time I have no children in my care, I really only have about 24 minutes to do things that I want to do. I feel like I'm constantly in the car. I have three kids in three different schools with three different schedules. And what about that paperwork that is building up on my desk? When do we have time for that? I have no idea how people who work outside the home have time for that stuff. They go to work, come home and have to be super mommy.. they have to put on a happy mom smile and go on with their "other job" as mom...they are exhausted and worn out and the last thing they want to do is go online and sign up for things or call a company or pay a medical bill.

Some days I would love to just get in the car and go to work and drop off my kids at school or daycare or wherever but no. This is my life. It's exhausting and sometimes thankless. But I'm pretty sure the lady who is on the other end of the spectrum feels the same way about her job. Exhausting and thankless. She is not only a full time job holder person but also a full time mom as well. See... there are no such thing as Stay At Home Moms and Working Moms. We are all stay at home moms and we are all working moms. Do you really think that mom who has to go to work and take her child to day care actually STOPS being a mom? I guarantee that her mind is NEVER EVER EVER for a second, off of her children. When she is rating a policy or talking to a student or ringing up someone for a purchase, in the back of her head, she is thinking of her child. She is not really at work, she is really still with her child, wherever they may be. 

My BFF is a school teacher and a new mom. I must say this to her: I salute you. You are my hero. Luckily she has family to watch her little Doodlebug (but she will soon go to daycare) but wow... this just must be hard for her... and I'm learning slowly just how much it weighing down on her. She teaches all day with kids who are challenging her every second. She uses her brain to educate other people's children (she's a saint, right???). She works long and hard hours and then comes home and has to be super mommy. When I was in school, I really wanted to be a teacher. I LOOOOOVED the thought of that. I envy this woman for getting her Masters and being the best teacher she can be, but now she has a new role of being the best super hero teacher/mommy/wife/friend that she can be. I know it is taking a toll on her but she loves doing it and does it well. I'm pretty sure she looks out of her classroom and envisions a life with her Doodlebug... just the two of them swinging on a playground, not having to go to school each day and just spending time with her. They can cuddle each day and watch Dora. Maybe learn a new song or take a class together. Luckily, I'm pretty sure she doesn't think I stay home and eat bon bons and play with puzzles and bubbles all day (by the way I hate that analogy - do they actually still sell Bon Bons???). She knows that I don't lay down and sleep for 3 hours (well....I have done that before but not lately). She knows the challenges that I face and I in-turn know the challenges that she faces. Recently she told me about having to pump at work and the separation anxiety that her daughter is starting to feel. And the unimaginable guilt she feels in leaving her daughter. Will she walk when she is at work? Will she miss her first word? With both "types" of mothers.... there are pros and cons. I guess the hard part is finding what's best for your family and what will make YOU the better person.

As for me, I guess my place is at home for now. I'm trying every day to not give the SAHM a bad name and I try to make the best out of my days...except some days are much harder. I think my husband asked me the question (So what exactly did you do all day????) and I didn't talk to him for a week. I think now he realizes that you really can't get anything done at home with a 20m old child in the house unless she is unconscious. And the older children are not much easier as they are constantly into things, asking questions and being kids. My lovely little bean has this new very annoying habit of making me come sit next to her wherever she is and pulls on my arm constantly regardless if I'm in the bathroom, in the kitchen cooking, cleaning or just standing. She pulls on me and says "ca ca ca ca ca ca ca ca" until she is blue in the face which means "Come now or I will annoy you until you fall over". She is super sweet but I really need to get this girl to start using full words so we can communicate. Until then, I just need to realize that NOTHING WILL GET DONE but for now, that is okay. I look forward to the days where all my kids are out of diapers and can talk in full sentences and maybe then, I can be the SAHM that people think about in the stereotype. I look forward to the day where I really CAN sit on the couch and eat a whole container of ice cream and let my household run itself. Until then, we keep on doing what we are doing and keeping our kids alive.

The grass is always greener. But truthfully, I don't really think it is. You just think it is because being a mom - no matter what kind of mom - is pretty darn hard.

The Third Child

Wow. I believe it has been so long since I last posted. Things have been insane. It's already October. I last updated in August.

I managed to make it through the last few weeks of summer and Let. Me. Tell. You. That was hard. Kids are hot and tired and I'm just so ready for them to get back to school. We made a "fourth quarter" school switch for one of my kids so we ended up sending her two weeks late to her "new school". Good decision though but just getting caught up with paperwork and tomorrow is picture re-take which is for her. OOOOPs totally forgot. I hope we remember to brush her hair tomorrow. With three kids trying to get out the door, having teeth brushed and hair combed is very difficult. I have one kid on the bus in the early AM then both little ones need to be in the car and ready to drop off second, then off to speech for the second kid and on the way there, somehow I need to get the third one to school.

Today... I was reminded of what happens to your house once you add another child. You get a lot more lax. My kids had GOLDFISH for breakfast. Yep. Goldfish. And I was caught by another mom feeding the kids in their car seats one of those Costco Size Goldfish bins. The baby was drinking water on the way to school - we were running late from speech - and she totally threw up the water all over her outfit. Smelled not too nice. Soaked with water. Water came out the nose and the mouth and probably the ears! I pulled over on the side of the road, cars zipping buy, quick changed the baby and put on her "spare set" of clothes from her school bag. People were probably staring. Got her dried off, gave her the old 1-2 wipe from a baby wipe and she was good as new. Threw my car into the school parking lot and a friend of mine was running out with her "third child - I'm always late look" and started laughing...... because my door was open and both kids were eating out of a giant GoldFish box. She laughed and said "yep... I've done that. That your breakfast, girls???? Don't worry, I won't tell your dad."

Truthfully, I probably WOULD NOT have done that with my first child. I would have taken her home. Or actually I would not have given her an open bottle of Dasani at 20 months of age in her car seat. We would have had a nice sit down breakfast... got her in her nice Gymboree or Janie and Jack outfit with matching tights and hair bows and took her to school at least 10 minutes early. Poor mini bean... always getting the shaft. And of course I had to leave the middle one in the car because we were running late to dropping her off and she was having fun eating her giant box of GoldFish (don't worry mom, my friend stayed with her - I didn't leave her alone).

The things we do with the third child. Another thing is BEDTIME!!! Do you remember bedtime with your first child? I remember my good friend who has one son my oldest age, used to tell me it would take her at least 90 minutes to put her kid to bed at that age.... even for naps. You would pick out three or four or five books from their "age appropriate book box" that they have next to their rocker and rock them and read the books. Over and over. They would snuggle and sing. I remember doing that with my first. We had the best time.  With the second... it was a little different. It was less books because you were arguing with the first one to get into bed and brush her teeth and make sure she had underpants on and didn't go to bed naked.

Now.... onto the third. Poor mini bean. It's literally a 60 second process. I'm busy running in and out of kids rooms.. yelling about homework and reading charts and brushing teeth. The 7yo is refusing to brush her teeth and the 4yo can't find her pajamas. The baby bean is just staring at you crying because she can't get up onto the middle ones bed. You are PRAYING that your husband comes home.. but since he is not home now, you are PRAYING that he doesn't come home in the next 10 minutes because he will have UNDONE everything that you have just done in the last hour. The kids will scream and jump from their bed and try to jump the baby gate and get down to him. So.... to free a hand you put the youngest one down probably when she doesn't need it and kiss her goodnight. Tell her how wonderful she is and thank her for behaving. Off she goes into the crib and you cover her and close the door. Done. SIXTY SECONDS. That's it. Poor little one once again. I thank God every day that my third is so sweet. Sometimes I think she is going to look up at me and say "Mom.. don't worry, I got it. I'm just going to roll with it because you have your handful".

The third doesn't cry. Doesn't whine. Doesn't beg. Doesn't scream. She just goes with the flow and tries to make Mom's life a bit easier.

For now. Talk to me in 10 years when all my kids are in high school.

More later. Can't wait to share with you our DISNEY EXPERIENCE!!!!

:)R

Best Headbands for Girls - BANI BANDS REVIEW - Headbands that STAY PUT

To say that I have a lot of headbands in my house is an understatement. I recently took a picture of them. These are only the ones that I could find. They are everywhere. Under beds, in the bathroom, living room, basement, car, backpacks. I have two kids that wear them. Both do not have bangs anymore. One child looks like Kurt Cobain. No joke. I wish I could have found the one picture that I took with my cell phone a while ago. She has stringy, curly, unruly hair that cannot be tamed. It's insane. Now if you know me, you know I have short straight hair. And when its not short, it's long and in a ponytail. Never ever down. Oh and I have bangs. Have always had them. One time I went without bangs. Not a good idea. My mom reminds me all the time of when "remember you tried to not have bangs". Yeah. Epic fail.

This is a bucket full of really bad headbands and clips. When I had my first child, with every outfit from Gymboree I bought those curly clips. You know which ones I'm talking about. The one's that have the curly ribbon that look like wrapping paper ribbon. I know you have some in your house. They come in packs of four I think. The clips have bumpie things on the other side. Horrible. How did I NOT know this when I bought them. They were super cute. I bet I have tons of pictures of those. They don't stay put. They just annoy me. I would throw them out however they are like gold-mines. I have spent a fortune on clips that don't work. Now for clips, I have discovered "No Slippy Hair Clippy" at hairclippy.com. They are a little more expensive but I guarantee they will stay in place.

Today though, I want to talk about my new find. A friend of mine told me about BANI BANDS. As a mom of three little girls with insane hair, I have to tell you that I have tried them... and I love them. We have about 25+ of them. This company was founded by a woman who is very athletic and could not find a solution to the "oh my gosh, my hair is in my face and I can't see straight". I have that problem. When I run, I have to have a good hairband. I have been known to demand that my husband go back to the house after we are on our way out of town because I don't have a hairband or a good hair tye. These things DON'T MOVE. I went to our local running store (which does not stock these) and tried their brand. NOT the same. Mine stretched out within a month. Here is a picture of my latest shipment from BANI BANDS.

Now as you can see, I got the MOFO shipment of BANI BANDS. Well, that's because they were having an awesome $5 sale. The founder is former military so check their facebook page for sales during the holidays. I believe this one was for either Fourth of July or Memorial Day. She is an avid volleyball player and has lots of sport options to pick from. There are skinny bands, regular bands, and fat bands (my fav). The sequin ones are super fun for kids. I know they come out with all different kinds. The owner is very nice so feel free to contact her and her staff. Never had a problem.  The bottom of the bands are made from almost velvet... they are NO SKID. These were all $5 on sale, the one on the far left is a premium one, it's thicker. I love that one. That's for me.

Now... onto the reason why I buy these. My girls. Kurt Cobain lives in my house. She is 6. She had curly locks of hair as a child and have migrated to some sort of wavy mess of a hat head. She LOVES these headbands. Every day, she picks out a new one. We bought the sequin ones for the first day of school... the soccer one for soccer. And the zebra one just because. I believe these all retail at around $12 but again, watch for sales. What's awesome about these bands which the ones that look like them DON'T HAVE, is the adjustable band. My head is obviously bigger than A's head... so for her, I use the slide adjuster and move it to a small adjustment and for my big-ass noggin' it goes up. For my middle bean, well I have to kick that into "really friggin small head" gear. She is 4 and just able to wear them. I keep a secret stash for just me because these kids take my stuff. By the way, DO NOT put the sequin ones in the dryer. Not a good idea.

Here is a picture of the first day of school. I rarely put pictures of A on my blog but since she's famous on Facebook, here you go. She loves these bands!!!

Kid tested. Mom approved. Bani Bands. Oh and they usually have a sale section too! SCORE!!!!

BANI BANDS

If you are overwhelmed with hair clips, headbands, bows, check these out. Great option for older kids. They are easy for them to put on by themselves. Great customer service.

Go Bani Bands.

Happy Baby Thoughts :)
R

A Good Reminder..... Pay Attention

These days we are all caught up with our daily lives, our children get overlooked. We tell them to hold on... to wait... that we will be there in a minute. Truthfully, they are only young for a little bit. Pretty soon they won't want us around. I'm totally guilty of ignoring my children on some dates. I have to make a phone call or pay a bill or talk to a grown up. Frankly, I'm pretty sure those things can wait. What we need to remember is to spend time with our children. I read this today and thought I would share. Make time for your kids because pretty soon, they won't be children any more.

"I’ve decided I don’t want my children to grow up without the loving hellos. I vow to let go of my distractions long enough to cause a 'Sun Delay,' meaning:

No matter what I am in the middle of doing,

No matter how inconvenient it is to look up,

No matter how 'busy' I think I am,

When my children walk in the room,

When my children hop in the car,

When my children and I are reunited after a separation,

The world is going to stop for a moment,

And when it does,

I will shine my love into their eyes and into their hearts

So my children see and feel how much I love them."

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2013

In the rush of our busy lives and the abundance of distraction, sometimes the loving hellos and goodbyes get lost. Let us remember their importance today. Our loved ones' joyful faces have the power to remind us how much these gestures matter. 

Back to School Shopping - Reviews of Best Lunch Box / Bento Box containers

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!! BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!

At our elementary school, we have something called Boo-Hoo Yahoo at our first day of school. Some parents are saying "boohoo my kids are going back to school" but for me, this year, I'm falling into the YAHOO category. With three beans who are 6 and under, I can't wait for the kids to go back. Oldest goes back to First Grade.... middle bean goes to 4k - FIVE DAYS A WEEK!!!!!... and the baby bean will be going to a Mother's Day Out  program which is two days a week until mid afternoon. I cannot explain to anyone how much this means to me.

Summer is exhausting. I'm tired. ALL THE TIME. I see on Facebook lots of mom rejoicing that school is out and their kids will be home ALL THE TIME, but I guess I'm just not there yet. I'm not at that point where having my kids with me 100% and being hot and sweaty and tired and smelly is fun for me. I am however looking forward to getting everyone all set for their first day of school.

I have one child who eats everything in sight (the 6 year old) and the other child who literally eats nothing. The oldest one will be served the finest public education food this side of the Mississippi but unfortunately the 4 year old has to take her lunch. Do you like packing lunch for your kids? I really dislike it. I keep forgetting. I need to remember to make it the night before and sometimes I'm totally worn that I forget and wake up in the middle of the night to do it.

A friend of mine found these things called LAPTOP LUNCHES. What a great idea. I find is helpful for picky eaters because they are Bento Box - like lunch boxes. You take a few things and place them in the boxes. Middle bean won't eat sandwiches so these are perfect for her. Cut up protein, fruit, crackers, cheese. It even have a place to put a water bottle. I used to pack milk with the lunches but I find that the kids drink the water more and that is fine with me.

This is the unit that we have. We have two of them. A purple and a blue one. They have lasted over 2 years so I'm pretty happy about that. Get ready to pay out the nose though. This unit cost me about $50. I checked on their website and this one is priced at $39.95 without the water bottle. I'm pretty sure that they have re-vamped their inventory because mine came with one and it fit right in the insulated carry bag. By the way, your kid will LOVE this. It looks like a little computer.

Now having said how much I love this system, a friend of mine told me about another system which looks a little cooler. But it may serve a different purpose. This Laptop Lunch holds a lot of food. Here is the PLANETBOX.

Now since I already have two laptop lunches, I think I would probably invest in the little one. My 18 month old is going to Mother's Day Out and it would be perfect for her little lunch. It retails for $39.95 with the bag, $5 less without. If you think it's pretty expensive, just think of how long their will last.

This system comes in three sizes/prices. The Launch $50-$75, the Rover $40-$60 and the Shuttle (seen here) from $35-$40. Also, I believe you can get the larger ones at PotteryBarnKids.

So what will you use at your kids lunch box? I really do like these systems. The only thing with the BentoBox from Laptop Lunches is all the compartments. My cabinet has TONS of them and they are kind of annoying. They hold up very well in the wash.

Finally - there is an option for LunchBot. It's my third option for quality divided food containers. I am planning on ordering one for my daughter so when I do, I'll update the blog with a post.

Good Luck at Back to School!!!

:)R

What to buy for a Second/Third/Fourth baby

When you have your first child, you go out and register. You get some fun things, not so fun things and things that are so stupid that you are not sure why you got them in the first place. We have so much stuff in this house, we have started weed out the things we don't use. I gave away/sold most of my baby gear, but I'm trying to think about things that I "splurged" on with my third child. I have a few things that come to mind.

• #1 - A compact folding, swiveling, neat looking stroller

When I first registered, there was not a lot of cool looking strollers. It was about 7.5 years ago and most people got Travel Systems. I'm sure if we did this all over again, not sure I would do that again. I did like the Graco Car Seat, but the huge stroller that we strapped the car seat into... probably could have done without. I really like the SnugRider by Graco or the Snap n Go stroller by BabyTrend. We borrowed one from a friend for the second child and I gifted it to someone after the third. This would be a great present for a second/third time mom who is having a baby.

I decided to get rid of my huge GRACO QUATTRO TOUR deluxe stroller. It was so friggin heavy I couldn't lift it. It didn't fit in my van with the back seats up. Buh Bye. We bought a brand spankin new City Mini Single stroller. I really wish I knew about these (and could afford them) when I bought my double. I would have bought this one. But I wanted to save $$$. Next time I won't worry about cash and go for the good one.

I really love this stroller. Folds with one hand. Can lay back. Great canopy coverage. We are going to Disney this fall and this is all we are taking. This might be something you can splurge on for your third or fourth kid. Your stroller is probably out dated. This is a great option. I got mine online at Albeebaby.com which is my go to site for gear. I also recommend this double. My sister has it and loves it.

• A Better carrier than that silly BabyBjorn - the BOBA 3G

I swear BabyBjorn was the ONLY baby carrier back in the day. They had cornered the market. Every single mother got one when I was first pregnant. I got mine and loved it. Until my kid weighed about 10 pounds. Then the straps were going into my back. My body was hurting and I was begging for mercy for my husband to take the child. I had the bjorn for the first child. Second child hated to be in anything, I tried the MobyWrap sling but she just screamed in anything so I gifted that to a friend. Someone told me about this:

Is that a pretty picture? Yeah, not me. This is more like me:

Yeah not as attractive, but it works. I prefer to put her on my back. She is about 15 months here. As for a front carrier, you can wear the baby facing forward, but not OUT. That is the only downfall. But again, it's worth it because you can wear it longer. I put my 4 year old in here and it worked great. I carried her for a half hour!!! Wow! Looking forward to using this during the summer at Tball and in the fall at Soccer.

This is the BOBA 3G and I purchased it at Diapers.com and used a 20% off coupon. It was about $105. Well worth the price and you can resell it easily.

• 100% Cotton
• Front and back carry options
• Removable sleeping hood
• Adjustable sleeping hood, adjusting in length to fit growing babies
• Zipper pouch may be used to store your hood when not in use
• Comfortably fits heights 5’0” – 6’3”
• Waistband range: 25” – 58”
• Additional adjustments for easier fit & breastfeeding
• Patent-pending removable foot straps
• Elastic bands neatly roll up straps
• Shoulder strap holders keep purses and diaper bags in place
• Easily adjustable chest strap
• Uniquely designed to “hug” your child
• Converts to an infant carrier without an insert
• Extra head support adjustments for infants
• Body of carrier rises 2-3” higher than other brands
• Multiple pockets for on-the-go storage
• High quality military grade buckles

• THE BEST SLEEPER IN THE WORLD - FISHER PRICE - ROCK N PLAY SLEEPER

What can I say about this item? There is no way to repay the maker of this item for the wonderful sleep that I had when I first brought my third child home. It was a gift from my husbands aunt and it was literally sent down from the Heavens to this mother who was so very tired. The baby slept through the night at less than FOUR WEEKS. She was only getting up once. It's very portable. She loved feeling squished in there. We even bought an insert (Snuzzler) that is usually for car seats/strollers so she could go in it straight from the hospital. I really love this product. Baby Bean did too. 

Product Description
Soothe, nap or play! What makes this Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper perfect for newborns is that it's extra deep with a structured insert that surrounds them in comfort and makes them feel secure. The seat is also inclined, which makes napping more comfortable for babies who need their heads elevated. And with help from mom, baby can rock the day away - soothe, nap or play! Other features include three-point restraint to keep baby secure, a toy for soothing & entertaining, and a washable insert for comfort and support. Plus it's very lightweight, so it's easy to move around the house.

• Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper - Tan Circles includes removable, machine-washable insert
• Storage pocket for little extras
• Portable sleep seat for newborns, with a wonderful rocking action and secure inclined position
• Easy-push button fold for storage
• Maximum weight: 25 lbs

They even make ones now that are super padded so you don't need the insert. That is the upgraded version. Go ahead. Splurge. You deserve it!!!!

I would be interested to hear about what were your SPLURGES for your second, third and fourth baby. What did you really want to get that came out for the later child that you didn't have?

Happy Baby Thoughts :)

R

Toddler Technology - My beef with Steve Jobs

I always said that I wouldn't be the mom who throws an electronic device at my child to keep them  quiet. Nope, not me. Ever. I was NOT going to do that. Just like I was not going to give my kid a sucker to keep them from crawling out of the shopping cart. I lied. In a big way. I'm pretty sure I pictured my kids eating all home made organic food. Never was going to take them to McDonald's. Never going to let them play in a dirty playland. Again. I lied. I was living in "La La Mom Land". Yes, sure there are moms out there who probably stick by their pledge not to give into the screaming or the annoying things that their children do to get their way. When I say "NO" I try to stick to it, but sometimes I just need a little peace and quiet and I give in. I cave. I fold like a chair. It's bad. I know. My mom always tells me "If you say no, MEAN IT!!! Don't just say no if you are eventually going to say yes. It confuses them". Yes, mother. Thanks for the information. I try to not do this but sometimes it doesn't work. I'm a bad mom sometimes. I say No, then cave and say Yes. My bad.

I think we may be the only family that does not own an iPad. You know why we don't have an iPad? Well, frankly I'm afraid of it ending up in the toilet. That definitely could happen. We did however recently get a Kindle Fire HD which was supposed to be mine and all mine and I was never going to let my children use it, but I have caved. They have a cute system called Kindle Free Time. It actually locks your Kindle into "Kid Mode" and they can't change any settings etc. Its about $5 a month which I think is worth it. We also have iPhones. This is where I have a problem.

I hate the iPhone. I really do. I want to thank my soon-to-be husband of my cousin for showing my 2 year old that they have games on there one afternoon at a family funeral. Had to keep her busy. Yes, thank you, but OMG. "The Cake Game" was the start of the downward spiral. Thanks Dan for opening "Pandora's Box". The entire way home from that trip my middle bean asked to play on my phone. More like sang about, screamed about it and demanded. I told her I didn't have any games on my phone. She told me that wasn't true.

I told my husband I didn't want to start this. I didn't want to have children who played on devices. But alas, I caved. It started when my older child got a VTECH Mobigo from her grandparents. I must say. I fell in love with it. She would play at age 3 for 20-30 minutes. They looked like pretty good games. She got excited. It was a nice babysitter and it took her away from TV. Sometimes I would actually put her on the porch to play so it gave the appearance she was outside playing. But she wasn't. I would keep it in the car and she would take it into appointments. LIFESAVER. A year or so later, the middle bean got one to be like her older sister. Then shortly after the first one died and I was on a search for a new system. We replaced them this past Christmas with the LeapFrog LeapPad. Okay. I like those.

My reviews of the systems are as follows: If you are looking for a low budget beginner system for your kids, try the VTECH Mobigo. It's around $50-$60 and you can buy cartridges. I think even the upgraded system has games you can download from the net. You can buy games on amazon for around $12-$20. Nice little system and a 2-3 year old can use it. We upgraded to the LeapFrog LeapPad. It looks like an iPad but it's a kids system. It works well for a 4+ kid. My only note on that system is that it sucks batteries like no tomorrow (the new LeapPad 2 has a rechargeable battery pack you can buy for a HIGHLY ANNOYING PRICE of $40). I think we put $400 into the system including the system, wall charger, car charger, gel skin for the unit, cute pink purse carrying case and like 20 games. My final note on that system is LeapFrog has won the jackpot by putting all those cartridge games on the LeapFrog Connect computer download system where instead of getting those annoying cartridges, you can just download them to the harddrive of the unit. BRILLIANT. My children fight over this one cartridge. Something about a Mr. Pencil. We only have one. But if i would have bought it online and downloaded it, we can put it on multiple units.

I'm sure in a year, my child will want something else. But the question is do we upgrade to an Apple product or do we do a Nintendo DS. Her cousin has a DS and she wants one. Which is where I get to my beef with Mr. Jobs.

Mr. Jobs. If you are looking down reading this, I love you and I really hate you. Well, dislike would be the term. You gave us the educational tools known as the iPad and the iPhone. Thank you. And Shame On You at the same time. How dare you make it so easy for me to reach in my purse and pull out a babysitter. How dare you make my child learn on my phone and play a game and keep her from screaming while I'm at the doctor's office. I love you for doing it, but I also really really really dislike giving her my phone because truthfully, she doesn't like to share and getting it back is annoying.

I have subscribed to a blog about free apps for kids. Since now we have an iPod and an iPhone, I like to load up on free apps. This is a great site. Here is an article on the TOP 100 PRESCHOOL APPS. On Friday's they have tons of free apps listed and sometimes they are the ones my daughter uses on her SIX IPADS she has in her KINDERGARTEN classroom. So I load up.

Top 100 (actually 349) FREE Apps for Preschoolers

This website is great for apps for all ages. SMARTAPPSFORKIDS.COM

So either way you do it, if you like the new technology that is out there, or if you are a slacker mom that just gives your kids crayons when they throw themselves on the floor, I'm sure you can find some good info in this article. Perhaps you can give send this blog link to your sister who dares to give their child an electronic device to have a 30 minute nap. But remember, once you give it to them, you will NEVER hear the end of it. For me, I guess I'm okay with it. They are in the generation of electronics. So they better learn early.

If you have any good websites that have free or reduced priced apps, let me know! Or if you have tried any new gaming systems I would love to know about that. A friend of mine was telling me about the NABI Tablet and I am very interested to hear about that. My soon to be 7yo will out grow her LeapPad. And I'm thinking a Nabi or a DS. I know people just say to get them an iPad because I have so much invested in Apple, but then again, I'm afraid of toilet scenario.

Happy Baby Thoughts :)

R

When the bad gets really bad - Calmoseptine

Diaper rash hurts. It hurts the baby and it hurts the mom! Nothing worse than the child waking up in the middle of the night with a wet or poopie diaper and SCRRRRREAAAAAMING!!! This happened to us today. Screaming. I thought it was teething. She is getting her molars and she is in pain pretty much all day these days. Crying. Clingy. Doesn't want to be put down. Sometimes doesn't want to be held. Always her hand in her mouth and chews on everything. Poor kid. I went into the nursery to console my little one. She wouldn't take any teething tablets, teething gel, and just keep wailing.  I knew she was hurting i just couldn't figure out why! Then I found it.

Poor girlie had diaper rash. And bad. It comes on quick in this house. I put her to bed and she was fine, but she had some stomach issues in the night and during the time it took me to realize this and change her, it set in. Red, raw and painful. I could barely wipe her bottom. I removed as much as I could with a cloth and just let her crawl around. She could barely move. Gave her some Motrin and put her in the bath. Nothing like a cool bath to calm the screaming the dry those tears. It's now 5am and I'm sure my husband was wondering why the baby was in the bath. Everyone thankfully stayed asleep. As I looked in my arsenal, I couldn't find my go-to product for painful diaper rash. Calmoseptine. A neighbor had recommended it about 6 years ago when my oldest daughter had diaper rash due to teething as well. It literally numbs the butt and takes the edge off. Not sure it has any "healing" qualities but it does the trick and lets the babies go back to sleep. I had to go back to the pharmacy today to get some more... Its about $9 and is sold behind the pharmacy counter. One huge tube should last you a lifetime but I'm pretty sure this was my third one that I bought. First one was used up, second one is probably in my closet somewhere so we are now onto a third.

The thing with this stuff is you would never know about it if another mother doesn't tell you. It's a staple in this house but just because someone else told me about it. It's originally made for nursing homes for urinary incontinence patients but it works wonders over here.

This time I'm not going to lose the tube because the next time she wakes up with flaming rash, I'll be ready!

My New Solution for Baby Eczema

Eczema is horrible. Especially on babies. We never really had an issue with this with the other two girls so I was a little caught off guard when I had to start scouring the internet looking for eczema solutions for babies. The "rash" started when she was a few weeks old where I noticed that little bean had red patches on her back. Then it was on her arms and on her thighs. It was never bad enough that the doctor said anything... I even brought it up to him and he said it would go away. Just put some "lotion" on it or leave it alone. Or I think I even heard from someone to not bathe her that often because baby skin needs to not be washed a lot. Well... that didn't work very well. I don't think the itchy skin bothers her. She has never flinched in pain. Since she is only 1 year old, we won't know for a while, but I guess it bothers me. Over the past year I have tried pretty much everything on the market to get this to go away. I have gone on blogs and community boards, asked my friends and doctors. My doctor's current solution is to try hydrocortisone cream 1%. I tried that, then I really didn't want to put that on my daughter's skin so I looked elsewhere again. By the way, NEVER GOOGLE if you should put hydrocortisone on your baby. You won't like what you find. At her one year old checkup I told the doc again and he said to try it again and see if it cleared up. It didn't.

Want to see my arsenal of skin care products? Well here it is. After 7 years of being a mom, here is my stash of diaper creams (which some people told me to apply to her red skin on her back, legs and arms) and lotions for itchy, red, bumpy patches on my kids skin. I'm sure I have spent a few hundred dollars. And this doesn't even count the stuff I got so frustrated with I threw in the garbage.

When I first became a mom, I was showered (literally) with baskets of Johnson & Johnson products for the baby. The familiar yellow bottle of baby shampoo. The little lotions. Even the purple "bedtime bath" set from J&J. Notice there are not J&J bottles in this stash. I found it to be very drying and quickly replaced it. I actually switched when my oldest was a few months old to a product from Arbonne. Well, that stuff smelled great, but it wasn't really in my price range at the time and I couldn't get to my "Arbonne lady" quick enough and I decided it wasn't worth it. Someone bought me some Mustela products which I soon fell in love with. Mustela SMELLS WONDERFUL. You literally want to eat your child when you smell their hair after you use their products. They worked well for my first two kids but for some reason was irritating my third. I noticed they came out with an Eczema line for Mustela so of course I had to try it.

 Another $20 down the drain. Well, it worked for a while. I do recommend the Mustela line for Eczema. It doesn't smell as yummy as it's predecessor but it cleared it up for a bit. Her rough, scaly skin became smooth again. I thought I had hit the goldmine. We tried the wash and the cream. I had read online somewhere that they said that balms are better than lotions. I had a few balms in my bag of tricks..... Bag Balm and Aquafor to name a few. I even went "BIG MONEY" when I decided to throw down the mother load and buy the BABY BEAR SHOP CHEEKY BABY BUTTER which I think was $30+. Wow, I found something that smells better than Mustela. The ONE problem with the Cheeky Baby Butter is that it didn't spread. I was so afraid I was going to rip her skin off when I rubbed it on. It was impossible to apply to a one year old. Poor little one. Had to pretty much hog-tie her down to put it on. So.... I stopped using that.

Ever use Triple Paste??? The diaper cream made of gold. It must be for a small container costs about $18. I do however give Triple Paste to every new mom I know. I love it. It works wonders. I'm really a Butt Paste kind of girl but I have been known to reach for the Triple when the time is right and the butt is so raw that you need a miracle. Not to mention the prescription diaper cream shown above in the mother-load (Vusion) that we have that literally costs $250 without insurance. Talk about liquid gold.....But I digress........ Well... my point about Triple Paste is that now they make an Eczema cream. Apparently everyone is getting into the market. They figure they have the best selling diaper cream on the market they might as well try another area. Does it work? No. Didn't do a thing. And I did try each and every one of these products for two weeks or more.

Now... for my new find. A fellow mother told me about something called "Emily's Skin Soothers" line of products. I was talking to a friend who is on a Facebook board and she was saying that she had heard good things about this natural product. Well, I had actually heard of it and a friend of mine gave me a sample. It was a balm. Great!!!! And it smelled good. Great!!! We are two for two. AND... It was an all natural product that didn't have weird things in it that I couldn't pronounce.

I started using it a few weeks ago when I located the sample. It started to work and I liked the smell, texture and baby bean wasn't screaming when I put it on so I thought I would give it a try.
If you go to the website: http://www.emilyskinsoothers.com - you will read about the story of how the company started. It was created by an acupuncturist father whose daughter (Emily - you guessed it) had skin issues and it got raved reviews.

I placed an order for the BABY AND ADULT SKIN SOOTHER, SUPER DRY SKIN SOOTHER (for me and those harsh Wisconsin winters), DIAPER SOOTHER AND LIQUID SOAP. I was very excited about the liquid soap. We have been using the Mustela Stelatopia Lotion ($20 which is outrageous for this product - but of course I would spend it to make it go away) and Mustela Stelatopia Liquid Soap on baby bean and we were almost out. Score. I didn't want to put $15 down on a product that didn't work. Within the first two weeks of using the balm (Baby and Adult Skin Soother) the redness went away. I bathed her every other day in the soap and started to see a difference. The liquid soap was even used as a shampoo and her hair looked wavy and clean and smelled great. It's now been almost three weeks and I'm happy to report that her scaly skin is almost gone. Wow, what a difference!!!!

The bottom line is that if you are trying different products, this product might work for you. I'm going to place another order and I might even keep a liquid soap in my shower because it seems to do the cleaning job and not have any residue, etc.  I am hoping to get my Health Hut to carry it because I really don't want to pay shipping every time. But I guess it's better than having to buy tons of products and not use them... or worse, throw them out. Now to just sit back and wait for a sale so this mama can afford to buy some more.

I guess it's time to go through the arsenal of crappy products and throw out the stuff that doesn't work. After all, we aren't having any more babies ;)

Happy Baby Thoughts :)
R