The most common question I get when I'm at the store as a mother of three girls ages 5 and under -besides for "Ma'am can I help you????" (usually from someone who has only one child or two young children is.... "was it harder to go from 1 to 2, or 2 to 3 kids???". I'm pretty sure I asked someone that same question when I was pregnant with my third child. You are always a little concerned about taking the next step... having the next child. Will you be able to handle that second child? Will that third child throw you over the edge??? I think for some people the answer to that question depends on their children. Did the first child sleep through the night pretty quickly? Were they up all night still with the first one when the second one was born? I was asked this exact question a few weeks ago from a mom who was pregnant with her third. She asked how old my two oldest were and figured out they are the same age as hers. I told her that of course the worst was behind her, that having the third was not that bad. Pretty much told her the truth but left out the haze of the first few weeks of having the third child. After all, we all have selective amnesia, right? We don't remember those days. And if we do, we sure don't tell an 8 month pregnant lady ready to take on the same task.
Now for us, our first child was pretty good. Sleeping through night at around 4 months of age. Lots of ear infections but nothing we couldn't handle. I was tired. Very tired. But with a little Starbucks and spending 8 hours a day at our local gym in Nebraska and the help of a great friend and some bottles of wine for mom, I was fine (of course not while I was watching the baby). We were ready to take on number 2 when she was around 18 months of age. Well, ready to THINK about taking on #2. Our second child was a whole new ball game. Not sleeping through the night until FOURTEEN MONTHS...thats right, 14 months. She was up every hour on the hour for about 4 months. No joke. It was pretty bad. Then it kind of spread out and she stopped projectile vomiting and screaming so things got better just wasn't a big sleeper. The "colic" stopped and we all felt like we were going to survive. I didn't want to think about having more kids until she was about 2 or later.... we just wouldn't be able to handle it.
I met a woman the other day who started talking to me about her want to have another child but they are having so many issues with their first (allergy, sleeping, possible autism and/or behavioral issues) that they want to have another child but are afraid that the second one will be just as big of a challenge. I guess you never know what God is going to give you. I was on the fence with a third but wow, what a difference a few months makes. Our third is a God-Send. Literally "sent from God" to put a calming peace in our lives. She sleeps 12 hours a night and I'm just hoping that she stays as happy and healthy and continues to light up the room when people come in. She slept through the night at 7 weeks. Yep, 7 weeks. I couldn't believe it. I think God was trying to tell me something. Still a little crying here and there, but overall, pretty awesome.
I think all men whenever they talk about kids, I always hear them say... "Much easier to go from 'man on man' defense to 'zone defense'. They love the basketball metaphor. I guess they are right. We are now outnumbered by our three girls. If I could sprout another set of hands for the baby, that would be better. For me, it was harder for me to have that second child than to have the third. When you have the first, your world actually stops. You can stay home. You don't have to work for three months. You can stay in your pajamas all day long. Everyone says, "nap when the baby naps". Really?? I hadn't thought of that. You are so fricking tired, you have never been up this much in your life without alcohol being involved. You sleep standing up. You fall asleep with the baby in your arms and somehow not manage to drop her. I remember feeding her in the chair and somehow I wake up and it's three hours later and neither of us have moved. Not sure how that happened.
With your second, you probably have to get up at some point to feed the older one but the first one probably still naps so you can sleep when the older one sleeps and nap when the baby naps. You are once again tired but you manage to make it through the day. Its the art of juggling that you learn when you have your second. If you were not a multitasker before, you quickly learn how to do it. My second was definitely the hardest. She screamed for 6 hours a day straight. Straight. And always when no one else was home. Projectile vomited. Several times a day. And when no one else was home. I was beginning to think no one believed me until she did it on my husband and he was a believer. AND I still had to watch the older one. I still had to get up. I still had to make breakfast. And it seemed like once I got the baby to bed, the toddler would be up. It never ended. I was ready to call it quits on kids right there but somehow, someway, you forget and you realize that your life is not complete yet. You want a third.
The third child. The world does not stop. There is no break. No downtime. As soon as family leaves and your husband goes back to work... BAM... you are back. Still have to drive to preschool or Kindergarten. You still have to go to playdates and soccer and swimming. Still have a routine. You can't miss a step. The third baby kind of gets the short end of the stick. No scheduled nap times. We are not home from standard 1-4pm for nap time. They sleep in the car all the time. You keep moving on and driving. You have two other kids. I once asked someone if it was hard to go from 3 to 4 and they said "No... what's one more when you are up that high". When I was growing up, there was a family with SEVEN GIRLS in their family. No idea how their mother did it. I guess "when you are up that high, what's one more". By the way, they are the awesomest family ever (if that's even a word). I'm sure they had their share of chaos, but ORGANIZED chaos from what I could see. Very cool.
So Mom and Dads, I want to know..... was it harder to go from 0 to 1? 1 to 2? or 2 to 3? or were they all the same??????
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Happy Baby Thoughts
:)R
